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Oct 1, 2014

Woof Wednesday: Stella's Guide to Being a Basic Bitch

Since 2012 Stella has been mastering basic bitchness. While I take some credit for Stella's basicness, I frankly feel that she is a natural basic bitch (I mean take a look of this basic habit she has)!

 Our friend lohanthony says it best, if your dog does the below, I hate to break it to you... but they're basic.

Has Basic Gear

Whether they are chilling at home or rolling up to the dog park in style, a basic bitch needs the right gear.  Basic bitches love fall and Stella is no exception. When the skies turn grey it's time to bust out fall fashion. Until the day that North Face and UGG start making dog gear, a generic rain coat will have to be basic enough.

Every basic bitch needs a water bowl with her name on it. This is super important so she can check the name on the bowl to make sure it's hers before she takes a lap (nobody wants doggie cooties). Plus, this way other dogs who can read good know that it's not their water. Bonus basic points if the water in the bowl is filtered, bottled, or chilled.  Bottoms Up!

What other gear is basic? Compostable poop bags, Greenies Dental Chews, Chuckits, and FURminators. If you have ever spoken about one of these products with another dog owner, then you're likely adding to the basicness of your bitch.  

Hangs Out at all the Cool Places

Most days from 8am-7pm you can find Stella at Downtown Dog Lounge, our local Urban Dog Retreat (aka daycare). On her first day we were given the below craft (and reassured that the picture where she looks like she is eating another dogs face was just at a funny angle and it was really all in fun, sure). Your dog can even have a nail trim, bath, and haircut during the day. One word, basic.

Then there is camp. All basic bitches need to spend time at camp. The Clubhouse for Dogs, where we board Stella when we are out of town, is essentially a camp for pups. There is a bus, yes a bus, that takes the pups out to a farm in the middle of nowhere. I'm sure it's a seriously needed change of pace from the Urban Dog Retreat. However, not every dog can go to this camp, it's a bit exclusive. If your dog passes a personality questionnaire, a temperament test, and a couple days of "trial runs", they'll get to spend their days frolicing around "camp" with the other basic bitches. Obviously there is a daily photo blog to catch up on all the basicness in case you miss it while on vacay.

Photo credit the Clubhouse for Dogs
What other locations will you spot basic bitches at? In the office at trendy tech companies and swarming off leash areas and dog beaches. Basic bitches also love long walks on the beach, road trips, hikes, and jogs.  

Even if I tried to revert Stella's basicness, I think I've done too much to turn back what is done. Riding with her head sticking out of the back window of my white Jetta and the puppy training class certificate proudly hanging on the fridge don't help her case. 

I might hate a little on Stella's basicness (since the cost of it coming out of my pocket), but really I'm just glad to have another basic bitch living in this house. Namaste.

1 comment :

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