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Oct 18, 2014

Workday Wardrobe Malfunctions

I think everyone has had some sort of wardrobe malfunction before.

image via People.com
I can't think of many times that could be worse than while at work. Although I guess in front of 140 million viewers may take the prize.

Btw, did you know it's been over 10 years since that "incident"? Feeling old yet?

Thankfully I've never had a clothing fail to the extent of JJ's, but I have had my share of embarrassing outfit related mishaps at the office (and I'm not even counting the Couch Pants incident in this mess).

When it's chilly where it shouldn't be..
 I was wearing a new pair patterned pants. Midday I had a meeting in another building. I sat down in one of the metal chairs and felt a cold spot on my butt. Oh shit. I couldn't concentrate on anything in the meeting other than thinking about how bad the hole was and who had seen it throughout the day. It was definitely one of those times that you image something to be much worse than it is and then can't think about anything else. After the meeting my team was heading back to our building. I opted into taking a bathroom pit stop before walking back. A ran to the bathroom and checked for the hole. Thankfully it was low enough that it would be hard to see and the pattern of the pants helped disguise it. I had long coat back at my desk which I oddly wore for the rest of the day during the middle of the summer.

I promise I'm not planning on returning this...
I was wearing a new white blazer and went half of the day without noticing that the tag was still on it. It was on the back and totally out of sight. What a terrible place for a tag. I'm blaming this one on Nordstrom Rack.

You are what you eat...
Usually around 10am I determine that it's an appropriate time for snack time. I'm addicted to these mojo bars (I love the big chocolate chunks in them). Unfortunately one day a chunk ended up on my chair instead of in my mouth. When I got home from work that day I took off my pair of mint pants and was horrified to see chocolate smeared all over the butt. It looked like I had pooped in my pants, which totally reminded me of the scene (first 1:30 of the clip below) in Dumb and Dumberer when Harry has a chocolate bar melt in his pocket and it turns into a real mess. Sorry I'm not sorry about the potty humor.

The next day I got to work and could see the chocolate still engrained in my chair. I sat on the edge of my seat (literally) all day until there was a period of time when none of my coworkers were around. I took the opportunity to finally wipe down my chair and get rid of the chocolate. You think I would learn from experience, but it hasn't stopped my mojo bar consumption, I just make sure the chocolate chunks end up in my mouth, not on my pants.

While not all workplace wardrobe malfunctions are preventable, I've learned that hoarding supplies at your desk can come in handy. While I can't actually sew, I can totally handle a button. I had a coworker lose a button on his shirt and he had a little sewing kit at his desk to fix it midday, brilliant. Keeping an extra pair of flats at your desk can be vital. While it's not really a wardrobe malfunction, I have for sure worn shoes to work before without breaking them in only to regret it while trying not to pee all day because it's to painful to walk to the bathroom with blisters. Lastly, I love Shout Wipe & Gos, they are way easier than a Tide pen. The first time I ever used one was when I spilled something on my sorority t shirt minutes before I was going to be talking to someone during rush. It was love at first use, these things are amazing. 

The last thing on the list that you need at work to combat wardrobe malfunctions is a good friend to honestly tell you when something is up (smeared mascara problems anyone?). Unfortunately that is something that you cannot buy online.

Really though, if you see someone wearing a sweater inside out or walking around with racoon eyes, help a sister out. That's got to be some form of Leaning In right?

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